Soliloquy and the Lone Dreams

I generally have pondered over life, in the wee hours of work, odd hours of the night, travelling, driving, running, and in between the very vain dinner table talks. They have become quite literally un-dramatic; like going through the motions without a conclusion in the sight - where they lead to no answers and are astoundingly inconsequential. That’s no to aver me and my quest though – only that I am still within constantly conflicted with the understanding that the acme of life is still as meaningless as ever. Belief, day to day believing and the very purpose seems to question me ever more.  

Is mind all powerful, is there a blind faith to bank your unanswered questions and unsolved realities or is individualism the successful way of sustainable living. As I write am I angry at the world, its pecking order, the reasons to exist, the absence of seventh sense; where I falter seeking the truth, the unerring fundamentals that restrict us to not voice our principles, the dogmas and their strength that mold our course of life? The choices you get and the power of choices you perceive you have. Do time and its passage make any real difference? The idea of continuation and the creation of one human life from another, the quality, the newly born and the one bearing it and the reason for multiplication.

The absence or limiting gradation to fantasy, the strength of every day realities and figments of mind's eye, origin of one’s life and the process of doing the years to become dust. The fight for a cause and the reasons behind the cause, the substitution of one equally good cause by another only to complete a life term, the futility of a cause without life and lack of existence, the need to survive, the inhabitation without choice, the sustainment in decided fates and the end in demise. 

The modernization of society for a means to an end or just the end, the introduction of complications through a modern society and the construction of life, society and traits over them, the notions and crafty subtleness with artificial industries built for sustainment, the principles,  innovations and even the search for truth. Definition of individual successes, fulfillment of ones functions, goals and stratification, the chemical imbalances, the experiments and the differences.  Euphoria, excitements tainted with introduced elements of sacrificed emotions, self-actuated but forsaken cherished objectives. The geographical inception and movement of nomadic nature, efforts and survival, societal initiations and the contiguous cultural bombardment the time and era survived and the decades lived. Imitations and self-created setups for pleasure, feelings and gadgetry, science, devices, interconnectivity and the barrage of unsolicited unprocessed data exposed. Factoid, religion with associated and varying cultural reactions divided in heresy.

Poets and their poetry, contrasts of misery and philosophy, science and its factual idealism, law and its verbose futility, businesses and their mendacity, humans and their exploding numbers, food and its inequitable distribution, life and its inefficiency, resource and its finite reality, governments and their secrecy, media and its scrutiny, injustice and its continued tenacity, disease and its ingenious repetitive nature, choices and dissonance, intermittent cognitive harmony and then subsequent reordering ,delusion, master and slave relations, corporations and the cogs, people and their goals, family and lack of one, affection, emotions  and its modalities. Love and its interpretation, death and its reality, cruelty and revenge, statutes, definitions and their justification, human classification of society, socially, economically and the power play. Prisoned and the free, self-sufficient and the needy, capable and the ignored, destructive and the accomplished, politics and criticism, journalism and coercion, race and diversity, interpretation and reality, differences, lapses, changing ideas and ever newly erupting springs, war, peace and recurring natural calamity.

They are theirs, yours but my very own soliloquy and lone dreams. 

Survive - Multiply

Baby cries, baby cries harder. Its Umbilical cord is plucked, it is cleaned up and poor non ready soul is put up for to be held by the proud father and then finally touched by an ever sacrificing mother. I mean even goats are sacrificed every day, what of them? Harder the work, heavier the hugs and an equally reciprocating is the sympathy showered. The whole kinship and the communal but forced kindred spirits become a charade of compelling faces while I am screaming at the top my racing muted heart –almost bursting in to four small sized pumps, saying: hey, don’t lose focus. Ask and ask first, to what end?

This baby is now a part of the world, without a choice to come by and exist, which will be tested in million different ways, to be pushed through various educational vices – the holding and the torturous kind, to be finally declared fit or unfit and essentially tagged and docketed. The kind of tag that you can hide only until it doesn’t matter. Pieces of paper and relatively pretty much useless terms are thrust upon it and used as a standard of standards to Judge. If you would indulge; a standard so stringent that “Originally intended to be one ten-millionth of the distance from the Earth's equator to the North Pole (at sea level)” There you have it, WIK’I(ed).

Most of the times, this baby will grow up into a conformist human being. It will question success, failures, consume self in the process, lose energy with its identity and will succumb to reinvent - to become the right human choice; only to redo all over again. Of little consequence are these schooling years, imparting of the framework termed ‘education’ though simple traits surely and an ancillary at best but portray the very blinding philosophy of continued years to come. The set years of 10, 16 and 20 years of formal education though an elongated and most un-optimized way of transferring tools and skills that are merely for survival. The same survival that has to be survived for its ever increasing complexity made more complex by the unerring education that breeds inventions which we become dependent upon. Why would businesses need a must 10 minute e-mail reply if post mail was the world order? The same inventions that are introduced in our lives only to become the hygiene factor. Let us not invent another social site to link up the other hundred that keep us hyper connected. I need to keep the mystery for I am the fantasizing one.

Everyone is really just surviving and the older ones are reproducing. Please, let me and you breathe! The relatively newly born are surviving and making sure they survive long enough to multiply unknowingly inwardly. The old ones getting older to become the stentorian are making sure their wise old wigs and osteoporosis(ed) metacarpus transfer the very bold and the very wise advise - to trick and mystify the fertile ones to keep going on and proliferate. For what? Round and round goes the merry go round – even the hamster’s wheel has a dead mouse - at least once in a while. Oh no pops out another one. Okay Survive!

Every once in a while they ‘extra survive’. I mean succeed or become leaders – a societal construction of an individual delegate who merely knows how to keep a heard going, really – the general public that follows suit and lick off the sparkly education crumbs left behind whenever survivor feels like fending off is necessary; some extra self-survival required actually.

Stop, think and disconnect for all the plans and ambitions unmet it is really a state to satisfy the un-satiating society which is lost somewhere fixed in a code that was looped by the same machine men created - not so long ago.

Risk

Does it hurt you to be in your situation recessively - without any special events that befall you? Do things emotionally charge you concurrently within the cyclical runs and loops of your daily life? If it does, then let me congratulate you; for you are still alive and disruptive. Feeling that you will always need within yourself - to survive, conquer and beat the existential angst that comes with life. Cherish the ‘uncomfortable’ zones in your life for they are the starting points of everything new and great.

Ever questioned that despite having the burning need to change your situation you don’t. Yes I said it. You don’t and not can’t – because you can. It is as easy as taking risks. Risk is a beautiful thing – it defines you what you are and what you aren’t. How great a thing it is to take risks early in life and experience all sorts of unsheltered realties.  For someone who has not taken risks in life has not discovered himself, let alone the world and how its dwellers operate.

Aversion to risk is cowardice and it is tragic. Failing to take risks lead to regrets and mulling over ‘situation’ – even more so. Why? See, the world today is ever more practical and scientific than the day before. Even in all of its art and beauty it is mathematical and what you sow is what you reap – add to it the litigious nature of time - a vengeful bitch. Time and risk have a close relationship and it says to learn and move on from things that bind you to your constants and to not wait for the future. Futility of hanging on has affected many in the world and results have been largely distressing. You become an encumbrance and considered frail. Frail are pitied and often have little time and place in this world. 

Risk involves being open to a world of ideas and the ability to absorb multifarious things. You are expected to keep your egos and tags at bay as they limit you from being what your true potential demands of you. Habit is the enemy of change. It makes you feel gratified but is limited by time. Habits consequently transform into misery. Misery begets depression and failures. In order to thwart misery you need change which entails stress and tension.  Are you afraid of tensions and stresses? Don’t be - since as opposed to the popular opinion it is good for the mind if taken in well-adjusted morsels. It’s a gamble and an art. Master it and you have crossed the bridge of life dotted with distractions and unrighteousness. Humans are designed to take stress otherwise our minds become dormant and dark. Feelings of masochism take over with the feeling of utter uselessness where we are left to face only the unchallenging - and that is a defeatist way of living. Overdo it and you spaz out or end up taking chunks of years off your health chart.

To never get hurt, to never feel lonely, to never feel pain is a rebelling thought and sometimes things are better conformed to. People stave off taking chances and fill these gaps, to brim-capacities, with the material world. Materialism only germinates turbulence within. These storms can not be quenched with brocade dresses, profligate foods, binging and slogging through life with responsibilities shrugged. The notion is to find what stresses and risks fit you best.

Risk means adapting to change which occasions that for every new thing you are going to be questioned. Questioning enables you to discover and answer other variants of enquiries that would generally be considered exploitive. These lead to unerring fundamentals that you set for yourself and experiences that you delimit yourself into- the frame of reference you attribute and / or allude to during the course of your life. If you don’t take risks you can’t experiment with yourself and a naiveté is of no consequence – an epitome of an un-remarkably feeble object. Once you define yourself with the help of risks you come to know about yourself. Half your life is about defining yourself as life itself is a constant battle of finding meaning and truth.

Risk cures monotony and boredom. Legacy of fear is common and no one wants to be associated to be the ‘run of the mill’.   Fear is tied up with mediocrity; break it and you can stop slaving your life away. Stop being a tool of someone else’s vision and realize the futility of being a cog in perfectly oiled machinery.

In one of his many satirical videos, Charley Chaplin caricatured modern life of humans and their dependence on systems post industrial revolution where the worth of humans have become dreams of machines. Where the world has managed to mainstream  the minds of mankind  to pre-set standards and marginalize them – numbed to the extent where most now just go through the motions and fail to realize being taken advantage on daily basis.

Another word for risk can be courage and it makes you transcend above day to day existence and when you do find a vocation, a job, an exercise that is so immersive that you cannot falter or question it, the fulfillment comes through. What is required is to give it a fair chance. A deserving time and let it season. Feelings of being swept away are secondary and not a primary concern and you never wait for it.  Waiting is inconsequential and however clichéd it is to be ‘proactive’, as evidenced in the business world, is essential.

Another way of living is to surrender all control as the highest form of control is to surrender all of it. It is like riding a bicycle. If we struggle and keep stiffly directing our hands and legs for control we fall down. The commandments distract us. You can’t prove it, you can’t possess it but you can be a part of it. Be part of the system, let go and then emerge. Surrender being in charge, surrender your identity and be a part of the bicycle. Take the risk of forgetting yourself, what we are and what has been –stop taking yourself so damn seriously. Part of the process is to believe in risk. Unless you have in your life experienced the ability to let go, failed, despite your complete technical mastery – you flow. World gives a fair chance to everybody to learn the basics of things. How creative one gets with the finite elements and their integration is a self-effort and a function of energy; the reservoir that feeds and lets you persist.

Failure and the finality of being a ‘loser’ have disturbed many and hence many circumvent it by never taking responsibility. If you let your success and self –respect define through results and  achievements you are going to lose every whim of chance. Winning isn’t everything – trying is. To say otherwise is a societal value and misconstrued way of life. Creativity is fraught with failures; are they not praised for their efforts? Success is not a guarantee, who measures its value, who is its audience, how is it perceived and what if there was a different crowd or absence of one to assess it. Life is a sum of interchangeable experiences and features. You keep trying until your last breadth and that is what is expected from an honest man – yes, till the very end.

Distractions! – life of other people who surround you. A new arising phenomenon is of social interactions. Nobody’s face, a self -painted portrayal of themselves– a fake front can tell you about their life. Dive into reality, make amends with responsibility and you will know the truth. Haven’t you seen the agony, and sudden demise of people who rose to fame and superstars whose success ended ephemerally? You play first but in the end you play for the audience of one.Self-perceived unattainable goals stems from cowardice and that is the inability to take risks. Don’t wait for guaranteed formulas and tricks. Come in to the light and fight.  Courage to love, flow, change and grow is a human condition of success. Take a risk and be true to yourself.