Soliloquy and the Lone Dreams

I generally have pondered over life, in the wee hours of work, odd hours of the night, travelling, driving, running, and in between the very vain dinner table talks. They have become quite literally un-dramatic; like going through the motions without a conclusion in the sight - where they lead to no answers and are astoundingly inconsequential. That’s no to aver me and my quest though – only that I am still within constantly conflicted with the understanding that the acme of life is still as meaningless as ever. Belief, day to day believing and the very purpose seems to question me ever more.  

Is mind all powerful, is there a blind faith to bank your unanswered questions and unsolved realities or is individualism the successful way of sustainable living. As I write am I angry at the world, its pecking order, the reasons to exist, the absence of seventh sense; where I falter seeking the truth, the unerring fundamentals that restrict us to not voice our principles, the dogmas and their strength that mold our course of life? The choices you get and the power of choices you perceive you have. Do time and its passage make any real difference? The idea of continuation and the creation of one human life from another, the quality, the newly born and the one bearing it and the reason for multiplication.

The absence or limiting gradation to fantasy, the strength of every day realities and figments of mind's eye, origin of one’s life and the process of doing the years to become dust. The fight for a cause and the reasons behind the cause, the substitution of one equally good cause by another only to complete a life term, the futility of a cause without life and lack of existence, the need to survive, the inhabitation without choice, the sustainment in decided fates and the end in demise. 

The modernization of society for a means to an end or just the end, the introduction of complications through a modern society and the construction of life, society and traits over them, the notions and crafty subtleness with artificial industries built for sustainment, the principles,  innovations and even the search for truth. Definition of individual successes, fulfillment of ones functions, goals and stratification, the chemical imbalances, the experiments and the differences.  Euphoria, excitements tainted with introduced elements of sacrificed emotions, self-actuated but forsaken cherished objectives. The geographical inception and movement of nomadic nature, efforts and survival, societal initiations and the contiguous cultural bombardment the time and era survived and the decades lived. Imitations and self-created setups for pleasure, feelings and gadgetry, science, devices, interconnectivity and the barrage of unsolicited unprocessed data exposed. Factoid, religion with associated and varying cultural reactions divided in heresy.

Poets and their poetry, contrasts of misery and philosophy, science and its factual idealism, law and its verbose futility, businesses and their mendacity, humans and their exploding numbers, food and its inequitable distribution, life and its inefficiency, resource and its finite reality, governments and their secrecy, media and its scrutiny, injustice and its continued tenacity, disease and its ingenious repetitive nature, choices and dissonance, intermittent cognitive harmony and then subsequent reordering ,delusion, master and slave relations, corporations and the cogs, people and their goals, family and lack of one, affection, emotions  and its modalities. Love and its interpretation, death and its reality, cruelty and revenge, statutes, definitions and their justification, human classification of society, socially, economically and the power play. Prisoned and the free, self-sufficient and the needy, capable and the ignored, destructive and the accomplished, politics and criticism, journalism and coercion, race and diversity, interpretation and reality, differences, lapses, changing ideas and ever newly erupting springs, war, peace and recurring natural calamity.

They are theirs, yours but my very own soliloquy and lone dreams. 

Survive - Multiply

Baby cries, baby cries harder. Its Umbilical cord is plucked, it is cleaned up and poor non ready soul is put up for to be held by the proud father and then finally touched by an ever sacrificing mother. I mean even goats are sacrificed every day, what of them? Harder the work, heavier the hugs and an equally reciprocating is the sympathy showered. The whole kinship and the communal but forced kindred spirits become a charade of compelling faces while I am screaming at the top my racing muted heart –almost bursting in to four small sized pumps, saying: hey, don’t lose focus. Ask and ask first, to what end?

This baby is now a part of the world, without a choice to come by and exist, which will be tested in million different ways, to be pushed through various educational vices – the holding and the torturous kind, to be finally declared fit or unfit and essentially tagged and docketed. The kind of tag that you can hide only until it doesn’t matter. Pieces of paper and relatively pretty much useless terms are thrust upon it and used as a standard of standards to Judge. If you would indulge; a standard so stringent that “Originally intended to be one ten-millionth of the distance from the Earth's equator to the North Pole (at sea level)” There you have it, WIK’I(ed).

Most of the times, this baby will grow up into a conformist human being. It will question success, failures, consume self in the process, lose energy with its identity and will succumb to reinvent - to become the right human choice; only to redo all over again. Of little consequence are these schooling years, imparting of the framework termed ‘education’ though simple traits surely and an ancillary at best but portray the very blinding philosophy of continued years to come. The set years of 10, 16 and 20 years of formal education though an elongated and most un-optimized way of transferring tools and skills that are merely for survival. The same survival that has to be survived for its ever increasing complexity made more complex by the unerring education that breeds inventions which we become dependent upon. Why would businesses need a must 10 minute e-mail reply if post mail was the world order? The same inventions that are introduced in our lives only to become the hygiene factor. Let us not invent another social site to link up the other hundred that keep us hyper connected. I need to keep the mystery for I am the fantasizing one.

Everyone is really just surviving and the older ones are reproducing. Please, let me and you breathe! The relatively newly born are surviving and making sure they survive long enough to multiply unknowingly inwardly. The old ones getting older to become the stentorian are making sure their wise old wigs and osteoporosis(ed) metacarpus transfer the very bold and the very wise advise - to trick and mystify the fertile ones to keep going on and proliferate. For what? Round and round goes the merry go round – even the hamster’s wheel has a dead mouse - at least once in a while. Oh no pops out another one. Okay Survive!

Every once in a while they ‘extra survive’. I mean succeed or become leaders – a societal construction of an individual delegate who merely knows how to keep a heard going, really – the general public that follows suit and lick off the sparkly education crumbs left behind whenever survivor feels like fending off is necessary; some extra self-survival required actually.

Stop, think and disconnect for all the plans and ambitions unmet it is really a state to satisfy the un-satiating society which is lost somewhere fixed in a code that was looped by the same machine men created - not so long ago.